By Lauren Goodlove, LISW
The back-to-school transition season is full of excitement — new friends, fresh supplies, and new opportunities. But it can also bring big feelings for kids and caregivers. As a caregiver, you have a powerful role in helping your child feel safe, calm, and ready for this change.
Why Back-to-School Transitions Feel So Big for Kids
Transitions, even positive ones, can feel overwhelming because they disrupt what’s familiar. For children who’ve experienced trauma, unpredictability, or sudden changes, these transitions can trigger anxiety or fear.
A new classroom, unfamiliar teachers, or different routines can cause stress — even when a child can’t explain why. Recognizing this is the first step in supporting them.
The Power of Predictability and Routine
One of the best ways to help children feel emotionally safe is to create predictable routines. This consistency reduces uncertainty and gives them a sense of control.
Try:
- Keeping a consistent morning schedule.
- Talking through what the day will look like.
- Practicing the drop-off routine before school starts.
These simple habits help kids know what to expect, lowering their stress levels.
Co-Regulation: Calming Together
When children feel dysregulated, they often need to “borrow” your calm. This is called co-regulation — staying steady and present so your child feels safe enough to regulate their emotions.
Helpful co-regulation tools include:
- Taking deep breaths together.
- Offering a hug or gentle touch.
- Speaking in a calm, reassuring tone.
Your steady presence communicates, “You’re safe, I’m here.”
Gentle Ways to Talk About School Anxiety
Sometimes, children just need someone to listen. Create space for open, judgment-free conversations about school.
Instead of asking, “Are you nervous?” try:
- “What are you most curious about this year?”
- “Is there anything you’d like to practice before school starts?”
This encourages kids to share without feeling pressured or labeled as anxious.
5 Quick Caregiver Tips for a Smooth Back-to-School Transition
- Start routines early – Adjust bedtime and morning schedules a few weeks before school begins.
- Create a calm morning ritual – Whether it’s a special breakfast or quiet moments together, set a soothing tone.
- Check in daily – Use open-ended questions and listen without judgment.
- Offer choices – Let them decide on clothing, supplies, or transportation to increase their sense of control.
- Model calmness – Your calm energy helps them regulate.
Remember: You Know Your Child Best
Back-to-school is just one of many opportunities to help your child feel seen, heard, and safe. Celebrate small wins, take one step at a time, and remember — your calm presence is one of the most powerful tools they have during times of change.