As parents and caregivers, we often feel increased pressure to ensure that the holiday season and all the events and coordination that come with it all go according to plan with no bumps throughout the hustle and bustle. With all the added pressures placed upon us as providers, the holiday season can quickly become the time of year associated with added stress.
In the journey to create perfect holiday memories, the essence of the holiday season is lost along the way. A meaningful holiday season is not one that goes perfectly – it is one that leaves people feeling connected, present and appreciated. To get here, this requires focusing on meaningful moments, reducing stress and embracing flexibility.
Big question – how does one get there?
Redefine what is meant by “meaningful”
As adults there is felt pressure to ensure that holiday moments are special. What is often misconstrued is that celebrations and holiday events include moments of boredom, mistakes and disagreements along with aspects that lead to joy. As a parent or caregiver, you get to decide what meaning you attach to the holiday season and reflect on what that means to you.
Here is a great question to ask yourself: What do you want to remember about this holiday season?
Remember that meaning often comes from ordinary moments. The intent is not to manufacture constant joy and happiness during the holidays, but to create environments where people can naturally be themselves.
Let go of the felt pressure to make everything perfect
Social media and holiday advertising can create unrealistic expectations about what the holiday season is “supposed” to look like. This is not helpful as it creates a standard that everything associated with the holidays needs to go smoothly. What is often not depicted in social media is that there is so much unpredictability that comes with the holiday season that is often outside our window of control. Shifting thought patterns away from striving for perfection can decrease stress levels.
Consider the idea that perfection can actually get in the way of presence – time often gets spent trying to create a perfect moment rather than on being intentional in enjoying the holiday season as it naturally comes.
Helpful tip: Ask yourself what would make this holiday season feel good enough?
Possible ideas could be – fewer decorations, a simpler meal, saying no to an invitation.
Make flexibility part of the plan
With the holidays there is the automatic switch into what feels like an endless to-do list filled with the hustle and bustle from here to there. When expectations pile up and time seems to never be enough, it is normal to feel an added rush which can then naturally lead to feelings of overwhelm.
What can be helpful is to encourage flexibility during the holiday season.
Shift mindset by treating the holiday plans as a framework rather than a rigid schedule. For example: normalize that plans may shift last minute or that children may suddenly feel extra tired. Intentionally allowing time for moments of relaxation without expectation can be very helpful to decrease the pressure of sticking to set plans.
It is important to remember that flexibility is not “giving up”; it is making space for real life moments that exist even in the holiday season.
As you think about ways to let go of perfection during the holiday season, here are some helpful questions that encourage reflection:
- What will help the holiday season to feel like a time of connection?
- How will meaning be defined this year?
- What is something you could let go of to decrease felt pressures?
- What could shift this year?
- What is something that is important to carry forward?
The most meaningful holiday moments are rarely the ones we plan perfectly. They are the unexpected conversations, the shared laughter, the familiar traditions and the quiet moments of simply being together.
This holiday season, give yourself permission to trade perfection for presence, make room for moments of flexibility and pour energy into those that matter. What counts most is not how beautiful everything comes together, but how connected you feel along the way.